Being More Effective : The Benefits Of Using Checklist

Note:This is a Guest Post From Donald Latumahina ( http://www.lifeoptimizer.org )

Do you have tasks that you need to do again and again? If you do, how do you make sure that you do them correctly every time? One good solution, as it has been proven in many fields, is to use checklists.

The Checklist Manifesto by Atul Gawande is full of stories that show how useful checklists are. In fields like building construction, aviation, and medical, the usage of checklists has saved many lives. And in many other fields, it has helped people do things more efficiently and avoid costly mistakes.

The reason why checklists are good is simple: it’s easy for us to forget things. When you do something that involve multiple steps, it’s likely that you would forget one or two of them. Using checklists ensures that you won’t forget anything.

So, if you do something again and again, and want to do it right every time, use a checklist.

Besides helping you do your task correctly every time, here are some other benefits of using a checklist:

• You can save your brain power for more creative things
  Since you don’t have to remember all the steps you need to take, you can use your brain power for something more creative.
• You can save time
  You don’t need to spend time remembering the steps, so you can devote the entire time on doing the task.
• You can delegate more easilyIf you ever want to delegate the task (for example, through outsourcing), your checklist will make it easier for you to do it. By giving the checklist to the person you delegate to, you can describe exactly what you want.

Now then, how should we create a checklist? Here are some steps I’d suggest:

1. When you are working on the task, write down the steps you take. The result will be a draft of the checklist.
2. The next time you do the task, compare the steps you are taking with what you already have in the draft. If some steps are missing, add them to the draft. You might also want to remove some steps that you think are unnecessary.
3. After one or two iteration without any update, you can assume that the checklist is completed.
4. Put the checklist in a place that’s easy to access, be it a text file, a Moleskine, or anything else you like. It’s now ready to use.

Though everyone’s situation is different, here are some things that you might want to create a checklist for:

• Morning routine
  What do you want to do every morning to jump-start your day?
• Daily routine
  Do you have something that you want to do every day? What about weekly or monthly?
• A frequent task in your work
  Is there something you need to do frequently in your work? For instance, I have a checklist for processing guest posts submitted to this blog.

One thing to remember: your checklist doesn’t have to take the form of a list. One checklist I use every day is my Daily bookmark folder. It’s a bookmark folder in my browser (I use Firefox) that contain the sites I want to visit daily. Every day, all I need to do is opening the bookmark folder and it will automatically open all the sites I want. Simply by opening it I can be sure that I won’t miss anything.

What about you? Do you use checklists?

Persistence and possibility

In order to use the slicing blade on my Cuisinart, I have to attach it to a little stalk first.

I used to have an old model and a newer one too, and of course, they had different blades and different stalks. If I was having trouble hooking the two pieces together (which was every time), after a few seconds I would come to the conclusion that I had the wrong stalk... and go back to the drawer and start over.

Ever since the old one broke, though, I find that I'm far more persistent in fitting the two pieces together. Obviously, I say to myself, they have to fit together. It's certainly possible, so I persist.

That's the benefit of having a hero, a case study, a role model for what came before. The fact that it's been done before makes just about any task more amenable to persistence.

And it also means that doing something that's never been done before is even more valuable than you'd guess, because your peers and competitors likely gave up long before you did.

Via : Seth's Blog

Most People

Most people don't care enough to make a difference.

Most people aren't going to buy that new thing you're selling.

Most people are afraid to take action.

Most people are too self-involved to do the generous work you're hoping for.

Most people think they can't afford it.

Most people won't talk about it.

Most people aren't going to read what you wrote.

Fortunately, you're not most people. Neither are your best customers.

Via : Seth's Blog

Heat (A Beautiful Story)

Note: Via Patricia Gilbers (Short Stories) http://www.read-a-romance.com
Filed under Contemporary Romance, Patricia Gilbers,Short Stories

My sheets had been cold for so long, since Ted left me, yet here I was trying to find someone for Anita. But she was my best friend. And she was blind.

“Now quit arguing.” I laughed as she entered her answers into the computer. “A guy I work with, Phil, was terribly shy. He went through this service and guess what?”

“Let me guess. He met a wealthy supermodel.” She frowned.

“Stop it. He met this wonderful woman, got married, and now has a beautiful baby! If Phil can do it, believe me…”

“But…I’m blind! Is Phil blind?”

“No, but he’s short.”

She laughed.

Anita had only been blind for four years and her world had grown smaller and smaller. Her dream had always been to marry and have kids. She had been my best friend since third grade and I just wanted her to be happy.

She sighed and pushed the “send” button on the survey.

“Now we wait.”

Eventually she got emails from two men.

“I have to tell them…it’s only fair….”

She sent them a carefully worded message.  One never answered.  The other one, Steve, seemed curious.

“He wrote in his email that his uncle was blind and had a support dog named Boomer.  ”

“Boomer! What a great name. Steve sounds interesting.”

“He told me that he was uncomfortable filling out his survey just like I was but now he’s glad he did.  But he keeps mentioning a guy named ‘Murphy.’”

“Who is Murphy?”

“A friend, I guess.”

“Steve lives near here?”

“Just twenty miles away.”

“Not bad, better than across the country.”

“Steve said there are things about himself that I may not like,” she said one night.

“What do you think that’s about?”

“Not sure. But he talks about Murphy a lot—Murphy brings him his groceries, Murphy got him a new winter coat…”

“Odd.  You need to ask him why he won’t trust you about this.”

“True.”

The next day she called me.

“He invited us to dinner!  He said he’ll explain it all to me then.  He said we have to meet at his house.”

This all sounded too strange.  But we made plans to go visit him the next Saturday night.

The drive was perfect, the leaves starting to turn, the air crisp and fresh. Steve’s directions were easy to follow and we parked in front of a stunning, modern house, full of jutting angles and massive windows.

“What if he doesn’t like me?”

“What if you don’t like him?”

“Maybe we should just go home.”

“Alright Eeyore, get out of the car. The house is modernistic, very modern, big bucks, big windows…”

“Great, I love a room with a view.”

She giggled. I laughed.

She held my elbow and I guided her in.

A handsome, tall man with dark hair and glasses came out of the house.

“Hello!” he said.  “I’m  Murphy.  You must be Grace and Anita. Steve’s inside.”

Then the door opened.  A slight man with red hair stood in the doorway smiling.

Murphy had a shocked expression on his face.

“I wanted to come out and see Anita. I couldn’t wait.” he said and then began to hyperventilate.  “I’ve been practicing this in my mind all day. I can do this.”

He took one guarded step out, then another and then another.

“Anita!  I’m so glad to finally meet you. This is the first time in a very long time since I’ve made it out of this house.  I have agoraphobia. I didn’t want to tell you until I met you in person. I wasn’t sure what you would think.”

Anita walked up the steps using her cane and gave Steve a big hug.

“I am so very happy to meet you—that’s what I think,” she said.

“Now, if you don’t mind I’d really like to go inside,” Steve laughed.

Anita and Steve talked and joked all through dinner. Murphy winked at me.

“Grace, why don’t we take our coffee and sit on the veranda? The sunset is incredible out there.”

We sat on the high deck, thick with container gardens.

“How did you and Steve meet?”

“We’ve been best friends since college—roommates. Steve and I are business partners. We create computer games.  He’s the creative guy, I handle the business side.

“Nine years ago his parents were killed in an automobile accident.  He was left completely alone, no family. After a while he became frozen…just laid on the couch all day. I moved in with him and stayed with him for six months until he could make it on his own.  Today was a major milestone.  He’s worked so hard to get this far.  Anita is all he’s been talking about.” He paused. “I had no idea she had such a beautiful friend.”

I just smiled and looked away. I’d felt it from the first moment we met. Heat.

“Steve is all Anita has been talking about. The computer seems to have really matched them.  You know she only became blind four years ago. No family either, just like Steve. I think it’s great what you’ve done for him. Must be hard on your marriage.”

I couldn’t hold back a grin.

He leaned forward. “Not married,” he whispered. “Your boyfriend must be curious about tonight.”

I grinned. “Don’t have one.”

“Imagine that.”

“Imagine.” My fingers and toes were tingling.

The sun was setting, large white puffs of clouds glistened with the sun’s sinking fire.

“Beautiful sky,” we both said in unison and laughed, then settled into a comfortable, knowing silence.

Anita and I came back the next day for lunch. I was impressed that Steve came out on the porch again.

We talked about our jobs and where we were from. I could tell Steve wanted to be alone with Anita so I cleared the table and went into the kitchen. I had dishes in my hands when I felt arms wrapping around me from behind. I ducked away, loading the dishwasher.

“You know I don’t stay with Steve twenty-four seven. I was thinking that next weekend you and I could drive up the coast, have a nice, romantic dinner, maybe go see a play.”

“I did buy a new dress,” I said, “and I haven’t had anywhere to wear it.”

“That’s a tragedy. We should remedy that.” He stared at me, then caressed my cheek.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered and kissed me. I put my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back.

He held me. “Isn’t it interesting where life leads you…I wanted to help Steve and look what I found. Wow.”

“Wow,” I smiled and kissed him again.

Saturday finally came and I was so excited. I put on my new dress, a black silk halter dress with a red wrap belt. I touched my chest, my hips and closed my eyes, imagining Murphy in my arms again.

The doorbell rang. He was wearing a black sports coat, charcoal colored shirt, and light gray tie. He was absolutely edible.

“Grace, you look amazing.”

“Thanks.”

“Ready?”

“Sure.”

We drove to the coast. He told me about his marriage and divorce, I told him about my five year relationship with Ted.

“What’s your favorite movie?” I asked. Typical first date question.

“Probably the Lord of the Rings series.”

“I loved it. Except the spider part. And I loved Viggo Mortensen. He was so…”

He grinned. “Talented.”

“Yeah, that’s it.”

He laughed.

An hour later we arrived at a fantastic resort and restaurant. We laughed and flirted and he held my hand.

“Dance with me,” he whispered.

“Ah, haven’t you seen Footloose? You know what dancing leads to.”

He grinned. “One can only hope.”

Rod Stewart’s Have I Told You Lately That I Love You came on. He held me tight, singing to me, kissing my neck.

I looked into his soft, sweet eyes. He kissed me again. Seemed I had always known those kisses.

“I am so falling in love with you,” he said.

“You scare me,” I whispered.

“You’re safe with me, babe, forever.”

I touched his lips, aching for him.

“Let’s stay tonight,” he said.

“I don’t know you…”

“Yes you do, I’m that guy who’s crazy about you, the guy you’re going to make love to, the guy you’re going to marry.”

“I’m afraid of loving you, I loved before…got so hurt.”

“Me, too. Never felt this way, though.”

“Me, either.”

“Don’t want to let you go. Stay.”

“Promise…”

He kissed my fingers. “With all my heart.”

And the night…was sublime.

The End

Learn more about Patricia Gilbers at her SHOWCASE PAGE.

Losing Control (A Must Read Romantic Story For Lovers)

Note: This is a guest post from Nan Donahue(Short Stories) Via: http://www.read-a-romance.com

Abby Sixsmith watched her brother and couldn’t contain a surge of envy.  He looked so happy!

It was so unfair.  Greg, who since a teenager, had sworn he’d never marry, had just exchanged vows a few hours ago.  Abby, who had been dreaming of her wedding for most of her life, sat at his reception single and dateless.

Can you say loser?

Of course, if she hadn’t given her heart to her brother’s best friend, who’d also sworn off matrimony as a teen, she might not be in this predicament.  Opportunities for love long lasting had come and gone, due to her tunnel vision on the subject.  At twelve years of age she’d decided that Nikolas Janiszewski was the one.  And that childish certainly had rooted deep and flourished with time.

For the last few years she’d done her best to stay away from him.  Being in his sphere filled her heart with an unbearable ache.  Because she knew – she knew –her dreams were hopeless.  As a single, successful, and let’s not forget good looking guy, he generally had some wannabe on his arm.  Didn’t they know they were wasting their time?  Didn’t they care?   Didn’t they have any self respect?

Didn’t she?  Maybe she wasn’t physically clinging to him, but from an emotional standpoint, she’d been hanging off him for years.  Perhaps it was time to try to surgically remove him from her heart.  Instead of sitting here with her back to the dance floor – the maid of honour had wrapped herself around him a while back and Abby couldn’t bear to watch – she should be out there having some fun.  Fun that didn’t include him!

“Hey, Abby Normal.  How come you’re not dancing?”

How wrong was that?  She loved a guy who looked at her and thought of a character from Young Frankenstein.  How much more proof did she need that it was time to move on and forget him? She’d never be anything more to him than his best friend’s kid sister.

“Abby?

Now or never.  The time had come to exorcise him.

She slid around in her chair and looked at him.  Arched a brow.  “What? No cling on in tow?”

“Klingon?”

“Not K.  C.  Cling… on.  The maid of honour has been your own personal barnacle since the dancing began.”

He shrugged his shoulders.  “Hey, what’s a guy to do?  Besides, the best man has a duty to make the single ladies here happy, doesn’t he?”

Oh, great.  He’d sought her out because of a sense of duty.  “Thanks, but no thanks.”

A pained expression crossed his face.  “No.  I wasn’t including you in that.  You could never be a duty.  You’re… you’re…”

“I’m Abby Normal.  Your best friend’s interfering kid sister.  Yeah, I know.  And you want to know something?  I get that.”  She ducked her head and continued under her breath.  “Finally.  Maybe.”

When she didn’t look back up, he squatted down in front of her.  Poor guy wasn’t used to being ignored by anything female.  Well, it was time she grew a backbone and started a new trend.  Of course, she doubted it would ever become a popular trend, because chances were no one without a Y chromosome would jump on the let’s pretend Nik Janiszewski doesn’t exist train with her.

His hands took hers, and no matter how hard she tried to loose herself from his grip, he wasn’t letting go.  “What’s with you?  Let me go.  I told you, you don’t need to waste your time keeping this “single lady” happy.”

With a sigh, he swung himself up onto the empty chair beside her, but kept control of the hand closest to it.  “Abs, give it up.  I wasn’t insulting you, okay?  And why are you here alone, anyway?  I haven’t seen you without someone in tow in ages.  Not that I’ve seen you in ages.”

Yeah, because up until the time she’d decided she couldn’t deal with being in his presence, she’d tried to deal by making sure he thought she was seeing someone.  Juvenile, but it had been effective for a time.  She hadn’t felt like such a silly loser.  Sometimes.

“My date couldn’t make it.  His mom has been battling cancer and had a turn for the worse.  He had to fly out so he could spend some time with her.”

“Oh.”

Abby tried to pull her hand away again.  She couldn’t stand it!  Bad enough he was touching her like this in the first place – when she was trying to convince herself the time had come to forgot about childish dreams – but he’d started to stroke the back of her hand with his thumb.  She doubted he was even aware of his actions.  Lady’s man Nik likely knew all the right moves and carried them out unconsciously.

Meanwhile, Abby was very conscious and could barely draw a breath without gasping.

“So, is he the reason I never see you around anymore?  Are you two… serious?”

Abby jumped up, effectively breaking his hold on her.  Because despite all else, she knew he’d never cause her any physical harm.  So it was either let her go or pull her arm out of its socket.

“Again, what’s with you today?  What do you care?  Or are you just fishing for information for my brother?  Why can’t the two of you realize that I’m all grown up and don’t need you getting into my business?”

Suddenly he was looming over her.  “This has nothing to do with Greg.  Just answer the question.  Are you two serious?  Is that why you never return my calls?”

Planting her palms against his chest, Abby tried to push him out of her personal space, but couldn’t budge him an inch.  So instead, she went on the defensive, stood up on her toes, and got right in his face.  “I told you!  I don’t need another big brother.  So back off!”

Um.  Oh-oh.  Maybe going on the defensive had been the wrong tactic, because instead of backing off, he stepped in, grabbed her by the waist, and swung her around.  And now he was all the way into her personal space with her.  Her back against the wall – literally – and Nik using his body to press her into it.  “I am not your brother!  Now answer me!  Are you serious about this guy?”

Abby blinked.  Suddenly her place in the universe seemed to have slipped, because she felt like she was free falling.  Holy cow!  Was he jealous?

“Ah, why do you care?  You’ve got some honey on your arm every time I see you.  So is it really your business?”

Nik looked like he was loosing control of his battle for – control.  Still pinning her to the wall with his body, he grabbed her hands and pinned them against the wall by her head.  And while battling with him might have been reminiscent of childhood wrestling matches with him and Greg, this felt entirely different!

“Look who’s talking.  Like I said before, I haven’t seen you on your own in ages.  And I’m making it my business.  Maybe if you’d ever return a phone call, or answer the door when I know you’re home, we wouldn’t be here at your brother’s wedding making a scene.”

He was jealous!  Nik was not the type to make a scene.  He had a powerful grip on his emotions at all times.

At least until now.

And she’d been the one to make him loose control.  How cool was that?

“Nik…”

“Just answer the question, Abby.  How involved are you with this guy you’re seeing?”

Abby took a deep breath and let the tension flow out with it.  “We’re involved as friends.  Good friends, but still just friends.  Now you need to tell me why the answer was so important that you had to use brute force to get it out of me.”

He sucked in a breath.  “Brute force? I would never…”  As a look of horror crossed his face, he quickly let go of her hands and started to step back, opening the cage he’d created around her.  “Abby, I’m sorry!  I didn’t mean… Did I hurt you?”

She grabbed him by the hips and pulled him back in.  “Forget it, buddy.  You’re not going anywhere.  Now answer the question.  Why was my answer so important to you?”

With a sigh, he settled back against her, but this time he used his hands to gently cup her head.  “Because you are important, Abby.  Only I didn’t realize how much until you were never around.   By the time I figured out that you were supposed to be in my life, you’d turned dodging me into your life’s mission.  But you couldn’t stay out of my way today, so you gave me no choice but to have this out here.  At your brother’s wedding.”

Abby couldn’t believe it.  All this time she’d been hiding from him and he’d been looking for a chance to tell her how he felt?  Tears dripping from the corners of her eyes, she wrapped her arms around his neck.  “Oh, Nik.  You’re what’s important for me too.  You always were.  I can’t…”  She hiccupped over a sob.  “I can’t believe I’ve wasted all this time.”

Nik dropped a kiss on her forehead and pushed away.  “Then let’s not waste anymore.”   He put a hand out to her.  “Abby Sixsmith, may I have this dance?”

                                                                                The End

Aspiring romance writer Nan Donahue is web shy, so we don’t have a site to lead you to. Nan has been writing short stories for Woman’s World magazine, and hopes to be published by them in the near future.

Home Is Where The Heart Is (A Must Read Story)

Note : This is a guest post from Marcy Bassett Short story from  http://www.read-a-romance.com 


“I’ll see you Thursday night, Jess,” Jack Maguire said to his wife. He wiped a smudge of baby food from her cheek before pressing his lips to hers.

It was their usual Sunday night routine. Saying goodbye.

Their youngest, baby Ella, bounced in her mother’s arms until her dad leaned over and planted a raspberry on her cheek eliciting squeals of delight.

Jessica’s lips curled despite the heaviness in her heart.

As a pharmaceutical sales person, travel was a part of Jack’s job description that she’d grown to accept. But it didn’t make saying goodbye any easier.

After smothering their other two kids in hugs and kisses, Jack hopped into the waiting hired car with a wave and a smile. Jessica’s stomach clenched as she thought about how exciting his life on the road must be—business meetings with doctors, dinner at new restaurants every evening, nights spent in luxurious hotels.

After their oldest, Connor, was born, Jessica made the decision to quit her job as a nurse and stay home full time. Now with three kids under five, she still loved every moment of her time at home. But that was her. Whenever she said goodbye to Jack she couldn’t help wondering if he found their home life dull compared to his travels.

Did he look forward to getting back on the road?

Jessica felt a tug on her pant leg pulling her back from her worries.

“Can I have a drink?” asked three year old Zoë.

“Of course, Sweetie,” Jessica replied as she patted the girl’s curly blonde head. She grabbed three plastic cups from the cupboard, and as she poured a round of apple juice for the masses her concerns about Jack were quickly forgotten.

On Monday night, the phone rang at precisely six o’clock. Jessica’s heart pounded with anticipation. Whenever he traveled, Jack always managed to sneak away and call home at the same time. No matter what.

When she picked up the phone, Jessica could barely hear him over the raised voices and clinking of silverware on dishes. He was at dinner with clients.

The kids jumped at her legs anxious to talk to Daddy. After each had their turn, Connor passed her the phone. “It’s your turn, Mommy.”

But as soon as she raised it to her ear, she heard Jack say, “Sorry, hun. Gotta go.”  He was practically shouting to be heard. “Dr. Watts is about to leave, and I haven’t gotten a commitment from him yet. I’ll call you tomorrow. Love you.”

She let out a heavy breath but told herself she could wait until tomorrow to tell him about Zoe’s attempt to dress the cat in a princess gown and tiara.

But on Tuesday evening, Jessica returned home at six-ten following what was supposed to be a quick stop at the grocery store—an impossibility with three kids in tow—to find a message from Jack.

“I won’t be able to call back tonight,” his voice rang out. “The only time Dr. Bryson can meet with me is this evening. Kisses and hugs to everyone.” He sounded distracted, as though he was in a hurry to get off the phone.

Her heart sunk.

The tiara story really isn’t that exciting anyway.

On Wednesday evening, six o’clock came and went with no phone call. Even though she knew he was due home the next night, disappointment weighed heavy in her chest. Her first instinct was to worry. He’d never missed a call before. Had something happened?

Calm down. He’s probably busy with a client, her common sense told her.

But then that meant he’d gotten too busy or just forgot to call.

Either option caused her heart to tighten uncomfortably. But she tried to ignore the sensation as she joined in the kids’ lively dinnertime conversation.

A few hours after the kids were asleep Jessica heard a noise at the front door. Her heart thudded in her chest. Who could it be? She wasn’t expecting anyone.

Wiping her dish soapy hands on a towel, she walked cautiously to the front window to check it out.

But before she reached the foyer, the door swung open and Jack walked into the house. Jessica’s breath caught in her throat, and she rushed to her husband throwing her arms around his neck.

“You’re early!” she mumbled into his shoulder. Her heart sped like crazy—partly from surprise but mostly due to the thrill of seeing Jack.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of being away for another night, so I squeezed all of my appointments into three days. That’s why I’ve been so busy.”

And he couldn’t call tonight because he’d been on a plane, she realized. A pang of guilt gripped her stomach. How could she have doubted him?

He dropped his small suitcase and returned her embrace with both arms. “I’ve had enough stuffy business dinners and lonely hotel stays to last a life time.”

“I thought you liked traveling,” she said tentatively.

Jack pulled back and looked into her eyes. “The only part I like about being away is coming home to you and the kids.”

A wave of relief washed over her leaving a warm glow in its wake. Feeling closer to Jack than ever before, Jessica leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

When she pulled away, she couldn’t help smiling. “Do you want to hear what Zoë did to the cat on Monday?” she asked.

And as they cuddled up on the couch together, the sparkle she saw in Jack’s blue eyes as she talked about their life, their children left no doubt in her mind.

Home really is where his heart is.

The End

Life Change - 6 Reasons Why We're Afraid to Change

by Catherine Pratt
www.Life-With-Confidence.com

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The key to change… – is to let go of fear - Rosanne Cash

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The thought of making a life change can be so intimidating that even though you want to be the master of your own destiny you'll end up doing nothing or settling for less than you deserve simply because you are so afraid of that change. Here’s the 6 main reasons you can end up paralysed with fear and what you can do about them:

1. Fear of the Unknown
We’ve all heard of the old proverb, “The Devil you know is better than the one you don’t”. This great fear of the unknown causes people not to take chances and to stay in situations where they’re not very happy. As soon as people think about change they start playing the “what if?” game.
• What if I make a mistake?
• What if it’s worse than what I have now?
• What if I fail?

You tell yourself the “grass is greener” and bury any thoughts of changing your situation for the better. You think you should stay where you are, just in case. You don’t have a crystal ball to predict the future so you can’t tell for sure what the consequences of your actions will be. You do know what you have now and you tell yourself that if you think about it, it’s really not that bad. Right? The fear of the unknown is what stops most people from ever making positive changes in their lives.

If you let it, your imagination can dream up a never ending supply of terrible things that could happen. But let’s think about it. You have the ability to imagine the absolute worst thing that could happen so that means you also have the skill to use your energy to imagine the absolute best thing that could happen. It’s a matter of focus. Why do you waste so much time imagining the worst when there’s just as much of a chance of the best outcome happening? In Susan Jeffers book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, she says that whatever option you choose will provide you with new opportunities and surprises that you may never have imagined happening.

“I can’t lose – regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. The world is a place for opportunity, and I look forward to the opportunities for learning and growing that either pathway gives me.” - Susan Jeffers

As she says, there is no wrong decision, there’s just different opportunities. It makes it far easier to face the unknown if you think of all your options as exciting and worthwhile. You just need to decide which one you want to do right now. There is no wrong choice. Doesn't that make you feel better when you think of it that way?

2. Doubt Yourself
When you are contemplating making a life change you will usually begin to doubt whether you are up for the challenge. Things can also seem a lot bigger and harder than they really are. The task seems overwhelming when we look at it in the big picture. We’ll ask ourselves, “who do we think we are thinking we can do that?” “I can’t do that. That’s too much.”

If you want to achieve great things or even just achieve inner peace, sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone and try something totally new. At least you will have tried. You will not have to live with the regret that you’ll never know what you could have been if you’d been able to just take that one step forwards. Also, you will learn so much by trying different things. Even if you only end up learning that you don’t like it, you have learnt more about yourself and where you want to go in your life. You will have new knowledge with which to use as stepping stones for the future. Usually afterwards as well, we realize, “it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as we thought it would be.” You have also increased your self confidence in having another situation under your belt that you were able to handle successfully.

3. Isolate Yourself and Agonize Over Decisions
Sometimes when you are going through challenging times you tend to feel isolated like you are the only person in the world going through this decision. You feel you need outside reassurance that you’re doing the right thing. You’ll ask everyone for their opinion so that you don’t have to take responsibility for making the decision. I can tell you from personal experience that the absolute hardest part of making a huge decision is during the time when I’m agonizing over it. I will make myself sick with worry and wondering if it’s the “right” thing to do. I’ll be on the fence for such a long time sometimes deciding to make that big leap of faith and other times telling myself to “be sensible” and to work with what I have. I slowly drive myself and everyone around me completely insane. But the moment that I finally take the step that makes my decision official, I’ll suddenly feel like a huge weight has been lifted from me. I’ll then feel quite liberated and excited about my choice. It’s the agonizing part that can stop you in your tracks though. It’s the hardest part of making a big decision. It’s much easier if you can make the decision and then move forwards as soon as you can.

4. Forget That You Always Have Options
Sometimes when you’re trying to make a big decision, you think you only have one choice if you don’t want to accept the current situation. For example, you can stay in a job you hate or you can quit and be unemployed. And if you’re like me you’ll add things like “unemployed and starving to death and I'll never be able to find another job.” I’ll mentally paint myself into a corner (motivated by fear or uncertainty) and feel there is no way out. I’ll feel like I have to stay in the situation because there is no other option. The truth is there is always another option. Sometimes it can take a little brainstorming to come up with a list of possible solutions but rarely are you truly ever without any choices.

5. Focus on the External World
Another problem people face when contemplating change is that we tend to focus on external things to define our identity and worth (what kind of job we do, what kind of possessions we have, how much we make). We put an emotional weight on stuff like this. If we don’t have the latest t.v. system, we feel like a failure. We can’t take the risk of losing all our possessions. It’s who we are. People always ask us, "what do you do?". When we answer, our job is a huge part of our identity.

A much more important thing we should focus on is the value of all the relationships we have and how we can help others - it's really a wonderful symbiotic relationship. When you help someone (and see their appreciation or know that you are helping them) you feel good yourself - and it's a more genuine feeling of contentment than buying the latest gadget. It provides us with a much greater sense of self worth.

Also, being able to live the life you truly want if far more important than feeling trapped in a job you hate because you have to pay the credit cards for all the stuff you’ve bought. I think I can also guarantee, before we take our final sleep (which I'm sure will be when we're 105) we will be thinking about the people that have touched our lives, and not the corner office we had, nor the car we drove.

6. Handcuff Yourself to Stuff
Along with focusing on the external world comes the fact that we cling to certain possessions, statuses, and perks we’ve been given along the way as some sort of safety net. People will "handcuff" themselves to jobs they hate with thoughts like “I'll stay until I use up all my vacation days" or "I’ll stay until I’ve got my pension". It’s the “I’ll stay until…” mentality. There's a lot of people who won't leave a job because of the promises of holidays, pension and severance pay. “If I leave I won’t get 3 weeks of vacation anymore.” Think about it. When you’re 80 years old, are you going to be happy that you wasted your life for a few weeks of vacation? Also, it’s limiting thoughts like these that keep us trapped in situations we don’t want to be in. Turn it around and if something like vacation really is important to you, you can bring it up in any interviews you go to. At least you won’t be letting a crutch stop you from facing the fear of change. It’s far better to keep the big picture in mind of what do you really want out of life? You need to keep moving towards that and not getting caught in the mental safety nets along the way.

You Don't Have To Settle For Whatever Happens
The worst part about being afraid of change is that you can end up settling for whatever happens. It seems less scary that way. The truth is that this is a far more frightening way to live because you don’t have the feeling of being in control of what happens to you and you live in fear of what might happen. Having the confidence to take action in the face of fear not only provides you with a sense of control, ultimately it will also provide you with a life full of purpose and joy. And isn’t that really what we’re all trying to achieve? 

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You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.
Mike Murdock

5 tips for eating healthy in winter

Note: This is a guest post from Trina Cleary of Growing Raw

In the glorious abundance of Summer and Fall, it’s easy and instinctive to eat fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables. It takes a little more effort, but it’s still possible to eat a diet filled with fresh and healthy food when Winter rolls around.

Obviously, depending on where you live, you may have more options than some other people. If you live in the north of Alaska you may have to be a little more creative than someone who lives in a milder climate.

However, where there is a will, there is a way! Healthy eating all year round is possible.

Tip #1: Check Out Your Farmer’s Market

Many people assume that their local farmer’s market closes in the winter. Although there may not be the endless selection there is in the warmer months, many vendors still make an appearance to sell their Fall and Winter harvest.

You may be able to find large winter squashes, which are great for making warming soups. Beets, cabbage, cauliflower, chicory, fennel, celery, kale, horseradish, parsnips, kohlrabi, leeks and radishes are cool weather crops that are harvested from late Fall through to early Spring. Many of these actually taste sweeter the cooler the growing weather is. Fall crops that do not go bad quickly, such as walnuts, almonds, onions, garlic or certain varieties of quince may also still be available.

Nobody knows better than a farmer how to eat well with what’s available in the Winter months, so don’t be shy to ask around for some helpful tips!

Tip #2: Preserve the Summer and Fall Harvest

Sometimes in the Summer and Fall it is easy to get so overwhelmed with the abundant harvest that you toss or are anxious to give away all those extra zucchinis or tomatoes to anyone that will take them off your hands. At the time you think you have eaten so many of them that you don’t care if you ever see another one again!

Plan ahead. Once the middle of Winter comes around, those garden tomatoes over pasta will probably never have tasted better or more welcome.

Make sure to store apples, onions, garlic, and potatoes in a cool, dark cellar. If stored well, you will be able to dip into this reserve deep into the winter.

Canning is simple and fun, and makes a great activity to do with your friends, neighbors or family one lazy weekend day. Can tomatoes, fruits, salsas and even look into pickling zucchini and eggplant.

Many veggies and fruits freeze well, especially beans, peas, cauliflower, broccoli, zucchini, berries, pears, peaches, apples and apricots. Make sure you throw a few large ziplock bags of these foods, grated or chopped for ease of use, into the freezer when these foods come into harvest. Defrost at the time you want to use them, and voila! You have veggies and fruits at hand to give the flavor of the Summer and Fall months to your Winter meals.

Tip #3: Investigate Seasonal Cookbooks

With the rise of globalized trade and increasingly processed foods we have lost our habit of eating within the rhythms of nature. Never before has it been so easy to run up to the supermarket and eat strawberries in January – but consider that those strawberries have probably had a couple of weeks worth of travel from another end of the world, and are anything but the freshest or most ecologically friendly option.

Eating within the confines of what nature offers us at the time was something that our ancestors did naturally. Fortunately, seasonal eating is making a comeback. You can find many excellent cookbooks on the subject, which will inspire your creative juices and give you endless delicious ideas for cooking up Winter veggies and grains.

Tip #4: Experiment with Hydroponics

Even if you live in the most harsh winter climate, if you invest in a small hydroponics system you can enjoy fresh organic veggies and herbs all year round.

Many starter systems can be bought online, or ask your local gardening store for help setting up a basic indoor garden. Put that extra guest bedroom that no one uses anyway to use, or use this as motivation to clear out the basement to make room for a vibrant hydroponic garden that you can enjoy no matter what the weather is doing outside.

Tip #5: Start a Windowsill Garden

So let’s say that you live in the tiniest studio apartment in the city and your town does not have a farmers market – you are out of luck, right? No way! Get creative and use any window space to grow compact plants that you can hang in small pots, and you can enjoy simple greens and many low-maintenance herbs such as basil, parsley and cilantro. Not only will a windowsill garden add beauty and life to your apartment, it will help you eat fresh all year round.

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So don’t think that eating fresh produce is just a luxury of the Summer and Fall months! It’s possible to tap into the reserves of the more abundant Summer and Fall months, or welcome the many tasty winter options into your diet. With a little preparation, motivation, and inspiration you can find ways to eat healthy servings of vibrant produce year round.

How do you find and include fresh produce in your diet during the Winter months?

Trina Cleary is learning about growing and eating healthy food while she cares for her preschool aged kids at home. She publishes her discoveries at Growing Raw, a healthy eating guide dedicated to all those who want to grow healthy food and eat it too.

MIRACLE OF LIFE - A MUST READ

Twin girls, Brielle and Kyrie, were born 12 weeks ahead of their due date. Needing intensive care, they were placed in separate incubators.

Kyrie began to gain weight and her health stabilized. But Brielle, born only 2 lbs, had trouble breathing, heart problems and other complications. She was not expected to live.

Their nurse did everything she could to make Brielle’s health better, but nothing she did was helping her. With nothing else to do, their nurse went against hospital policy and decided to place both babies in the same incubator.

She left the twin girls to sleep and when when she returned she found a sight she could not believe. She called all the nurses and doctors and this is what they saw (refer to the picture above).

As Brielle got closer to her sister, Kyrie put her small little arm around her, as if to hug and support her sister. From that moment on, Brielle’s breathing and heart rate stabilized and her health became normal.

Well, I was wondering hows it possible..It seems too miraculous to be true..


A little bit of tender love goes a long way. Show affection to all ♥

20 simple but powerfull life changes

Note: This is a guest post from Jake O’Callaghan of Slowchange

Small, simple life changes can be powerful. Implementing some of these changes can literally change your entire life.

How do you change? Take on one change at a time, and go slowly. Implement each change consistently so that it becomes a habit. Don’t do too much too fast.

What follows is a list of changes that are simple, yet incredibly powerful. Some are obvious and some aren’t. I hope they serve as reminders of useful changes.

1. Walk daily

We humans aren’t supposed to be sedentary human beings. We are born to run, but even more so to walk.

Walking every day is good for your physical health. But more importantly, it’s good for your mind. Walking is a joy. You are outside without distractions. You may even see people. And there’s few better ways to boast your mood.

2. Wake early

If you asked me what’s the best change you can make this instance, I would say “wake early.” The early morning is peaceful – there are no interruptions and no noise. You can wakeup and go for a walk. You can meditate. And you can create.

And waking early is the most productive thing I’ve ever done. I often get more work done in a couple hours in the morning than during the entire day.

3. Eat less

Many of us overeat. Let’s stop. Eat slowly, and eat until you’re full. Eat so that your belly doesn’t bulge.

4. Stop watching, start doing

Watching is easy. Anyone can watch someone. Spectating isn’t inherently bad, but I believe we do too much of it. Instead of watching, do something. Or better yet, create something great.

5. Go slowly

Our culture tells us to go fast, to sprint and win the race. Problem is, the race never ends. When you choose to go slowly, you are choosing peace and happiness.

6. Declutter

Clutter whether mental, physical, or virtual takes a toll. The only way to get rid of clutter is to get rid of stuff. Deal with bad thoughts and be done with them. Delete unneeded files. And get rid of unnecessary items.

Then when you feel like adding something, ask yourself if it’s necessary. For the most part, it will just contribute to clutter.

7. Become stronger

There are many ways you can become stronger. You can refuse to back down because of fear. You can stand up for what’s right. And you can become physically stronger.

All do one thing, increase your confidence. Gradually become stronger, and the world will open up.

8. Drink water

Often, I used to feel like crap just because I wasn’t hydrated. Drink water, and it will make you feel better. Soda and most other drinks often make you feel worse.

Drink water and only water (besides maybe some tea or coffee). Drink it with meals and drink it throughout the day.

9. Meditate

The incredible benefits of meditation are well-known. But most people don’t practice it because it seems complicated. The truth is, you don’t need to shave your head, or sit with crossed legs to meditate.

The simplest way to meditate is to just sit and breathe. Focus on your breathe. Or focus on the sounds around you.

10. Let go of expectations

Expectations are completely pointless. Try it for yourself: think of how something will be in advance. Most of the time your expectations aren’t met or are exceeded. Or your expectations create negative results.

Live without expectations, and you won’t be disappointed. You won’t have to worry about things you can’t control. You will just flow and accept things as they are.

11. Live in the moment

The past is yesterday and the future is later. The present is the only time we are truly living.

So instead of analyzing the past or worrying about the future, live in the moment.

12. Forget goals

Goals look nice on paper. They provide order to your life. They aren’t necessarily counter-productive – people have done great things using goals.

However, I think they’re useless. Instead of focusing on a goal, focus on the moment. Do things that you love, and do things well right now. This will get you farther than an arbitrary thing  that you can check off.

13. Focus on what’s important

Too often, I used to let the little things get in the way. Now I forget the trivial and focus on what’s important.

What is important? It’s up to you. Family, writing, reading, and playing soccer are all important to me. I clear away distractions and do the important things.

14. Change things up

A routine can make you a zombie. Instead, change things. Often you will find that a change makes things more exciting.

Don’t be afraid to change things up.

15. Wait before you buy

Often we think we need something, but it ends up in the basement – unused. Before you buy something, wait a month. If you still believe it to be useful, then you can but it.

Understand that every time you purchase something, the cost is more than just monetary. You are taking on this item. You must put it somewhere, you must protect it, and you must maintain it.

16. Stop judging

Judging is easy. It’s also stupid. It’s impossible to fully understand others. You don’t know what they’ve been through.

So why do we judge? It’s harmful to your own peace, and it’s harmful to others.

17. Stop interrupting

Let people finish their sentence. You aren’t in such a hurry that you need to interrupt.

Let people speak. You might learn something.

18. Create

Everyone has something they can add to the world – something they can create. Spend time everyday creating. You are capable of creating something life-changing – even if it only helps one person.

19. Single-task

Multi-tasking is a myth. We can’t multi-task – our brain can only switch between two tasks. So multi-tasking is actually less productive; not to mention stressful.

Instead, focus on a single task. Move on when it’s finished.

20. Play

We are too serious. Laugh and goof off sometimes. Forget being judged, and let loose.

We aren’t so different from children – only we try to hide our play. Forget maturity. Forget working for now. Play. Enjoy life.

Jake O’Callaghan is passionate about teaching and helping people change. Slowchange (slowchange.net) is his blog on making simple, lasting change. zenteen (zenteen.net) is a blog he created to help teens simplify and deal with the crazy teenage life.